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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226029">ultraviolet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/partingsorrows/pseuds/partingsorrows'>partingsorrows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Fireworks, M/M, Mutual Pining, being an idol has consequences!, kujou tenn is mean but not actually on purpose, tenn pov, tennharu makes me want to cry part 9384913892389, wordplay that's only a little bit clever</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:13:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/partingsorrows/pseuds/partingsorrows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <dl>
<dd>And I swear I could feel you in my arms<br/>
But there was no one there at all</dd>
</dl>
<p>
  <i>suggested listening: <a href="https://youtu.be/Fj67esbucuY">"Under a Dome" by Of Monsters and Men</a> &amp; <a href="https://youtu.be/XRNSan20Wpw">"Hard Feelings / Loveless" by Lorde</a> — track contains metal screeching sounds</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Isumi Haruka/Kujou Ten</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ultraviolet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The chill of the night air, kissed with ocean scent and breeze, is a welcome relief against his skin; the room inside is far too cramped and stinking of alcohol.  He can still hear some of them – certainly Gaku and Ryuu – through the outer walls of the hotel, their voices muffled, too loud to be subdued completely.  Not precisely what he was hoping for, exactly, but he's thankful for the sound in the immense silence spreading out around him.
</p>
<p>Tenn lets himself grip the railing of the fire escape, letting out a soft sigh.  The metal is cold against his skin, and he shivers, not for the first time.  He longs for his sweater, the unfortunate bystander in an altercation involving Riku and a bottle of wine— he cringes at the memory, forcing it out.  Neglecting the railing, he crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall of the building.
</p>
<p>Beside him, not a moment later, the door swings open.
</p>
<p><i>Don't be Riku</i>, he pleads with himself, but – somehow – this is worse.
</p>
<p>Isumi Haruka stands before him, mirroring back Tenn's own disgruntled expression.
</p>
<p>"You followed me."  Unprovoked, frost has crept into his voice.
</p>
<p>"I didn't follow you!" he's quick to insist.  The door shuts fully behind him and hurriedly he takes up residence at the opposite side of the fire escape's  balcony.  "I just— couldn't stand it in there anymore!"  His voice dissolves into mumbling, curses tossed amongst the names of his teammates.
</p>
<p>Tenn could say much the same, with similar sentiment.  "… right."
</p>
<p>Haruka averts his eyes, flushing.  "… I can leave, if you wanna be alone."
</p>
<p>"… no, it's all right."  An instant bite of regret rises in his stomach, but further words escape him.  He forces his eyes out to the water, its calm surface glinting with reflected moonlight.
</p>
<p>Quiet stretches between them, interrupted only by muffled drunken voices from within or passerby below.  Up so high, among the summer night and the smell of ocean's salt, it truly feels as if he and Haruka are somehow alone in the world, miles from anyone else— and though Tenn's thoughts are a constant loop of <i>I should leave</i>, he stays, holding the feeling close to his chest.
</p>
<p>He treasures these sparkling, ephemeral interludes.
</p>
<p>"You cold?"  It's Haruka.  He's extending his jacket with one hand, closer than he was before.
</p>
<p><i>This is too dangerous.</i>  Tenn freezes, recoils, on the edge of rejection— and then he sees Haruka's fraught eyes, watching him out of the corner of a downturned gaze.  He takes pity.  He <i>is</i> cold, far colder than when he first stepped out, and he's already hurt Haruka's feelings once tonight by being too sharp.
</p>
<p>He will allow them this one small thing.
</p>
<p>"Thank you," he says, forcing words through the thick lump in his throat.  He can see the way Haruka's heart leaps on his face, the blush that rises warm and red in his cheeks, and immediately, instinctively, Tenn forces his eyes toward the water.  He hangs the jacket over his shoulders, unable to bear the thought of encouraging this any further.
</p>
<p>The jacket still holds Haruka's body heat, and Tenn is able to stop shivering.  But there is no more shining quiet between him and Haruka— a wall has shot up between them, and the voices around them grow only louder in the dark.  The interlude has passed; the song has moved on.  He should leave.
</p>
<p>But he doesn't. His feet, desperate to move, are frozen, so he stays.
</p>
<p>Tenn isn't able to keep his gaze from wandering, not entirely, and his eyes return to Haruka for split seconds— and he sees things.  Knuckles gripped white against the railing.  Downcast amber eyes, hastily turned away from him.  The tightness of his jaw.  And most of all, the way his nervous feet shift his body ever closer to where Tenn is standing, his mind left unaware.
</p>
<p><i>”This is your fault.”</i>
</p>
<p>Kujou Tenn is an idol.  He has been since the day he was born.  He spent his life preparing for the weight he would bear, the expectations he would have to deliver.  He exists to serve the ultimate pleasure, an experience unparalleled, divine, transcendent of time and space.  Excitement.  Joy.  Happiness.  Euphoria.  His fans are his everything, <i>must</i> be his everything.  His place on Earth begins and ends with the singular purpose to bring them what they desire of him.
</p>
<p>He does not have a right to 'desire.'  Anything that comes between him and the work he does has no space in his life.
</p>
<p>And yet, if he could… 
</p>
<p>If he could, would he comfort Haruka?<br/>
Would he draw the sleeves of his jacket over his own shoulders?  Would he reach out, as Haruka had?  Would he cup Haruka's face in one hand, look on fondly, tell him just how amazing he's proven to become, how strong, how proud that he is of him, how impressed, how much that—
</p>
<p>The thought crashes so suddenly that Tenn reels from the impact, hitting his head against the cold brick of the hotel's outer wall.  Haruka, momentarily panicked, turns in his direction, but his words are cut off in a burst of sound.
</p>
<p>Fireworks.
</p>
<p>The staccatos burst over the beach, looming, burning streaks of light painted in neon colors.  Tenn is struck by how different they look from so high, how vast and how wide, and yet so far apart from each other.  He recalls, faintly, Yotsuba Tamaki telling him that the lights of the stars are billions of years old, too far away to reach their world any sooner.
</p>
<p>Nearby, Haruka lets out a shaky breath, and Tenn breaks from his thoughts; he knows Haruka to be easily frightened— was he scared by the sound?
</p>
<p>"Are you all right?"  The delicate words slip from his lips before he can bite them back.
</p>
<p>Haruka turns to him, eyes wild with fear.  He opens his mouth again, but again his words are cut off, a fury of sound and light overtaking them.  Though he turns his face toward the fireworks, Tenn can see, silhouetted in blue neon profile, the way his whole face crumples, caving in completely, white-knuckled hands shaking furiously.  He makes no further attempt at an answer, only watching the bursts of color, shining and sparkling like heaven's teardrops.</p>
<p>
"I'm going inside."  The words come all too late, but it is all Tenn can do to not drop Haruka's jacket entirely as he shrugs it off his shoulders and slings it over the railing.  Haruka makes no effort to look at him, a delicious relief, and Tenn turns away as soon as he possibly can, repulsion rising in his stomach.
</p>
<p>
"Thank you for lending me your jacket."  But he's not quite sure his words are heard, as a firework rises, voice booming, behind him.  The color dances off the metal of the doorknob.
</p>
<p>
He was so furious to get away, but once behind the door, Tenn can only catch his breath, gasping furiously for air he was confident he held just a moment before.  And because he does not leave, he hears, behind the door, a horrible, strangled, desperate sob— before that, too, is drowned out, caught up in an explosion of light and sound.
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading— these two are my everything; I really appreciate it.<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/eienseiriron">Twitter</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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